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Chris Lenz

THE PAIN IN MY EARLY LIFE

 

I was born in Mexico but came to Germany when I was three months old. My father was a wealthy man and left my mother when I was only four years old. I grew up without a real father and changed schools often. My mother was working a lot, so most of the time I had to take care of my younger brother. Some of the schools I went to were good. Others were extremely bad. I was in a school in Berlin-Kreuzberg, where I got bullied for being German. Even though I went through all kinds of difficult situations in my early life, I never stopped trying to move forward. I mean, what was the other choice? When I was fourteen, I had suicidal thoughts. When I look back on it, I think that was pretty pathetic. But still, it can’t be normal that I had these thoughts as a teenager. With fifteen, I had my first girlfriend. That was my only source of happiness at the time. Back then, my parents were very concerned with my education. Especially since I always had problems with my grades.

 

After two years and a half, my girlfriend and I broke up. I had a hole in my life which was difficult to fill. I became depressed and had no social skills at all. That means that I had no idea how to make friends or even talk to strangers. When I turned eighteen, I realized that I wanted to change my life and take things in a new direction.

 

I HAD ENOUGH!

 

I didn’t want to accept the situation anymore. Different events contributed to me wanting to change everything. The first critical point came when I walked into a store on a hot summer day. I wanted to buy new sneakers and found a nice pair. When I tried them on, the store clerk asked me how my day was. It was a guy. My face turned completely red and I couldn’t manage to reply to him. That was the quickest pair of shoes I ever bought. After I left, I realized what had happened. I couldn’t even have small talk with a stranger. That’s how socially awkward I was. And I wanted to change that.

 

After that, I asked in a social media forum how I could conquer my shyness. There were several comments which didn’t seem to make sense, as well as some that were very judgemental. I was losing hope until someone recommended me “this one guy” who had apparently gotten out of his comfort-zone in an extreme way. I signed up to his free newsletter and after some days I received the first challenge that would help me get out of my own comfort-zone. I was told to lay down in a public space. I thought that that was totally crazy. But after some time, I realized that if I continued living the way I did, nothing would change for me.

I called up a friend and went out with him. It was Christmas time in Berlin,  and we went to a big shopping mall in the centre of the city. After half an hour, I finally got the courage to lay down on the ground for five minutes. As crazy as it seems, everything changed for me after that moment.

 

A NEW BEGINNING

 

I didn’t want to accept the situation anymore. Different events contributed to me wanting to change everything. The first critical point came when I walked into a store on a hot summer day. I wanted to buy new sneakers and found a nice pair. When I tried them on, the store clerk asked me how my day was. It was a guy. My face turned completely red and I couldn’t manage to reply to him. That was the quickest pair of shoes I ever bought. After I left, I realized what had happened. I couldn’t even have small talk with a stranger. That’s how socially awkward I was. And I wanted to change that.

 

After that, I asked in a social media forum how I could conquer my shyness. There were several comments which didn’t seem to make sense, as well as some that were very judgemental. I was losing hope until someone recommended me “this one guy” who had apparently gotten out of his comfort-zone in an extreme way. I signed up to his free newsletter and after some days I received the first challenge that would help me get out of my own comfort-zone. I was told to lay down in a public space. I thought that that was totally crazy. But after some time, I realized that if I continued living the way I did, nothing would change for me.

I called up a friend and went out with him. It was Christmas time in Berlin,  and we went to a big shopping mall in the centre of the city. After half an hour, I finally got the courage to lay down on the ground for five minutes. As crazy as it seems, everything changed for me after that moment.

 

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